If you are reading this, you know Microsoft’s Professional Developers Conference is on and is coming up in mere days. I am fortunate enough to be a part of the PDC Core Team; we are responsible for your experience at the event.

I am sure that you have been checking the site, the sessions, the feed and keeping your eye on the blogosphere for scoops and hints of what is to come. There is only one problem; they are not giving you everything you need so I want to provide insider advice on how you can make the most of your trip.

Warning! What you are about to read may make you question your own existential existence. You may not be the same after reading it. If you are easily offended or want to take the red pill, stop reading immediately.

Where do all the Microsofties hang after the event? If you are a fan of edgy chef personalities, you know that you always want to find the dives the chefs go to after their shifts are done. Later in the evening, after evening events and A/V checks are done, many of our kind will head over to the lobby of the Westin Bonaventure where everyone will be hanging out at the bar chatting up the news of the day and talking with attendees. Now, if you are looking to find all the hipster-Microsofties, then you want to head to the club at the rooftop of The Standard. The view there is awesome but the drinks can get expensive.

How do I get into the backchannel instead of what mainstream media wants me to hear? Ok, go sign up for Twitter today (it is not just for telling you what I am having for lunch…uh, yeah I guess it is). Now use Tweetscan or some other tool that allows you to follow the chatter around PDC. Tweetdeck is what I use and it allows me to keep an eye on any tweet that has ‘PDC’ in it. Then start watching who is posting and follow speakers, attendees, and Microsofties who are giving you more than just “Hey everybody, come check out my session.” or “I can’t wait to hear about Cloud OS.” Later in the evenings you will probably begin seeing certain people tweet “I am at the top of The Standard, a free drink to the next 5 people who find me.” or “Company X is having a get-together at the In-And-Out Burger at Y, come now!” Jump in a cab and come down. You will be amazed at the networking opportunities and just brutal fun you will have.

I have heard everything there is about what is going to be there. Wrong! Believe me, you haven’t. I know. Although we are pretty transparent (or at least translucent), we like to hold some stuff closer to the vest. We are working on stuff all the way up to the week of the event. I am on the core team and I even sometimes get surprised. I have gotten a hold of our expo hall schematics and am making it available to you. I had to redact some things on it. But here it is:

PDC Big Room Layout

Standing in line is for suckers. I am amazed at how our species constantly finds itself mirroring farm animals like cattle, lined up in single file. Don’t stand in line for anything (except at bars, that is just a fact of life) at the PDC. For example, don’t register within the first hour of registration opening. Wait until the final hour where you can walk right up, get your badge and be on your way. Also, if there are giveaways from us, don’t stand in line. Again, we will have enough for everyone so its not as if we are going to run out. And if we do, you can be sure we will fix it ASAP. HERE IS THE EXCEPTION: If you want to register the morning of Day One, get out of bed as early as possible and get down there! Day One registration is masochistic if you wait the hour before the first keynote. You more than likely will miss the first few minutes if you wait.

Always ask Microsofties what their title is. There are two reasons. One, a title will reflect how well someone can answer your question. You can imagine if you see “Business Analyst for Dynamics” and “Developer for LINQ” which one you want to help you debug your issue. Ok, Scott Guthrie is the exception. Two, and more importantly, the right title will probably get you a free drink. Keep an eye out for “marketing” and “evangelist” and when they order, just say “Can you get me a X as well?“, make a noble gesture to get your money out. More than likely they will just say “Don’t worry, I will get this one.”

Stay balanced. PDC is a long haul of a conference. You of course will go to our session scheduler and double-book yourself every single session slot, you will plan to attend all pre- and post- events and do e-mail at night. Instead, take yourself a break, sleep in late one morning or just chill one of the afternoons. Think about all that you have seen and about how it will apply to your job back home. Also, take this time to rework your schedule. You probably thought you knew all that you wanted to see, but now that you have experienced it for a couple days you may change your strategy such as going to less “far in the future” sessions or go to more architectural discussions.

Get your questions answered. Microsofties at the event have all kinds of roles. But every one of us is there to answer your questions. We may not be able to answer your debugging question, but we will work to find someone who will, maybe even after the event. If you see a Microsoft badge, they will even help you find where the closest bathroom is at for you. Make sure you plan to attend the Ask The Experts night where almost every single Microsoft person will be there ready to answer any questions you may have. Now let me give you some advice, if you just hang out with the celebrities like “The Scott’s”, “The Anders”, etc. you will find yourself hanging with all the fanbois and fangirlz. Go find that rather empty table and you will probably be talking the actual developer of the product you use on a daily basis. Also, see “Standing in Line…” above.

The handsome and stylish PDC content owner, Michael Swanson, our talented and delightful PDC marketing manager Denise Begley, and I will be hanging out at the PDC table at Ask The Experts. You might even be lucky and get to talk to Jennifer Ritzinger, the PDC owner! This is your time to vent, praise, proclaim on anything related to the event itself. I am going to be there so feel free to swing by and let me know how we can make the PDC the most incredible event of your life and if you love/hate/despise these guides (I usually do one for MIX as well) I blog.

Don’t wear your kilt at the event. Don’t be that guy. Wear it out to the after-parties. If you wear it at the event, you are just that guy.

That’s all for now, if you want to keep an eye on what I got going on, follow my Twitter.